“Oh mommy,” I cried, pulling myself completely out of her arms and sitting directly in front of her. I knew what was about to happen and at one point, I would have been scared, but now I was only hurt and I needed my mom. I knew I had to do this. “I did something really bad.” “You can tell me,” she said in a calm motherly voice, placing her hand on my knee and squeezing it lightly. “You know that no matter what you do, you will still be my baby girl and I will always love you.” “But what I did. She would wear my markings until I decided that it was time to clean them off. When I returned, I bent to her cuffs, and disconnected her wrists from her ankles, then unclipped her ankles so she could walk. I helped her stand up, then went to pull on a pair of shorts.I took her by the elbow, and helped her walk down the stairs, then along the hall and into the garage. I picked up a kneeling pad that my mother used for gardening, and dropped it on the floor. I told her to kneel, and re-clipped. She opened the wide window that gave access to the balcony and said:"Go out."I stared at her and she used her hand to point at the balcony. Well, it was so clear I had to go out just wearing those little white panties. I still had on my jacket and under knee wool socks and shoes, but my legs were completely nude now. After a few minutes, I was freezing."Mistress, please. It is cold." I know that," she replied."Mistress, I need to pee." Don't you dare, or better..."She stopped speaking for a. At least I thought it probably had. It always seemed to.Maddie was jammed in beside me. We’d lain awake until after 2, sobbing, talking, remembering. Finally, sleep had swallowed us both, thankfully. I don’t think I had dreams or nightmares or anything. I could only wish that last night had been a dream, the phone call just a nightmare. If I’d dreamed, they were gone now. What wasn’t gone was the feeling in my chest, in my belly, that churning that just wouldn’t go away.“Serena,” the quiet form.
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